literature

Revenge of the Allicorns

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It had since become a tradition, at least for the last three years, that Luna would be unceremoniously pranked on April Fools Day by the young pink pony who had served to free her.

Nopony was more surprised than the sisters when it first happened, who had long since considered themselves free and safe from pony pranks on the day of jokes. In fact, they nearly had the pink pony arrested for trespassing, but in the end decided to laugh it off. It had simply been a spring-loaded box with a banana-cream pie inside, with a note that said "That's for being a meanie-beanie-bo-bienie as Nightmare Moon! April Fools!" It was signed with Pinkie's balloon trinity cutie mark.

In the days that passed, they laughed about it several times, but nothing prepared them for the next year, when somepony, and names were not mentioned who, decided to completely redecorate the palace to have a monkey theme. The pillars were now shaped like bananas, the statues of famous ponies were replaced by ones of monkeys, a green-and-yellow paint scheme took the place of the whites and blues that the castle was known for. This time, the palace guard wanted to go after Pinkie themselves. About half wanted to arrest her, and the other half wanted to know how she did it without being caught, and offers were made to Pinkie to get her to help redesign palace security.

Today, reflected Luna, was the last straw.

It was the third year that Pinkie had pranked the two, and this seemed to be a little over the line. Namely, Pinkie had somehow reversed the princess' colors with dye and paint.

It was rather remarkable, Luna reflected as she stared at her slightly-sleepy elder sister. Every single feather was dyed indigo blue, the cutie mark was painted into an exact replica of Luna's, and even the hooves were the proper color- for Luna.

Luna, on the other hand, looked like a younger version of Celestia, right down to the rainbow mane. Somehow, and Luna was wondering exactly how, given that Pinkie wasn't a unicorn and couldn't use magic, she even got the hair to move as though blowing slowly in an invisible breeze, just like her older sister's.

She cleared her throat.

"I think a visit to Ponyville sounds nice."

"Next year, though. Too late today."

"Hmmm… you're right…"

--- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

It was the fourth April First since Luna's return. Some things had changed- the children were growing up, people got their cutie marks, new children were born, people started pairing off- but others remained the same.

One such thing was that Pinkie Pie, now the owner of the Sugarcube Corner, rose with the sun. It wasn't so much a tradition on her part as much as her being a light sleeper with a room that faced east, but it served her well.

'Ohboyohboyohboy!' came the pink pony's thoughts as she sprung out of bed. 'I got so many pranks and ideas that I'm just gonna sceeeEE-'

The internal scream quickly turned to an external one, as the instant she placed a hoof on the ground, something seemed to be missing. Namely, friction, and she shot off, ricocheting around the room before flying out the window, narrowly missing a grey, muffin-eating Pegasus. Instead, she landed on her friend Applejack, who collapsed under the weight of the pink pony even as she slid away at high speeds.

"Just what is up with that pony? Ah swear, she's got a few screws WOAH!" as Pinkie had earlier, she was cut off by the sudden loss of friction, and she thudded back to the ground , sliding under her cart. Fortunately, her cart of apples wasn't dragged with, but this didn't occur to her as she shot backwards through a thick crowd in the marketplace, rebounding and striking pony after pony after pony. Each one would shriek as they, too, would lose their friction and begin their own spiraling paths through the town.

The day passed in much the same fashion- anyone who came into contact with Pinkie- or anyone else who lost their friction- would suddenly lose any and all control over their own momentum, friction vanishing in an instant. Soon, the village of Ponyville was ground to a complete halt, as ponies ricocheted and rebounded off of every available surface, sliding at high velocity with little-to-no way to stop them. The ones least affected were the Pegasi, but even they started sliding around once they touched solid ground. It was quite amusing to see Rainbow Dash vectoring in for a landing, touching down… and then shooting off in a rainbow blur, this one not of her own making.

The only pony in town who managed to escape this was Twilight Sparkle, who was just coming back from Canterlot. She had been trotting peacefully down the path, looking at the fresh, new grasses and trees growing up, when Pinkie shot over her head, shrieking with glee. This drew her attention towards Ponyville, where screams and cries could be heard, even from a distance, from the ponies slipping and sliding every which way. She took one look at the town, narrowed her eyes, and started to concentrate.

In a moment, she was gone.

--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

She reappeared in the ruins of the old castle where she and her friends had defeated Nightmare Moon, and the first thing she noticed was the two princesses laughing themselves silly.

She smirked.

"How's it going, miladies?"

The two briefly shut up, looked at her, looked back at each other, then burst out laughing again.

"My d-dear-hee hee- dear student, wha-ha-hat brings you here?" Celestia gasped, finally gaining control over herself.

"Well, my element is magic, and I could sense a lot of it coming from here," answered Twilight truthfully. "Any reason why you've decided to turn Physics off for Ponyville?"

"Pinkie Pie," responded Luna, deadpan.

"That-" started Twilight, before catching herself, and finishing, "Makes a lot more sense than it really should. Should I be afraid of that?" she asked, more to herself than the princesses.

"Probably."

"Ah-huh. Oh, well. I was just wondering. I'll just head back now-"

"I wouldn't, if I were you, Twilight," rang the voice of Luna, mirth bubbling below the surface.

"Oh? And why not?"

"Because in about five minutes, we're going to drop about a foot of vanilla pudding on it."

"…This begs the question as to why."

"We turned off friction for an entire town, but the pudding is what you object to?"

"Touche."

"I agree, my student. Now, if you don't mind…" Celestia's horn began to glow as she said this.

"Oh, by the way, what do you think of my pranks?"

"Your pranks?" asked Luna.

"Yeah, the one last year and the one this year, with the color swapping and the watermelon."

"…"

"…"

"THAT WAS YOU?!?" roared Luna.

Twilight seemed to shrink a few inches.

"Oops?"

--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

Spike, who had thankfully been inside when the pudding finally fell, waded through the ocean of pudding that covered what had been the marketplace. It seemed that as soon as the pudding fell, friction returned to normal, so there was that small benefit.

"TWILIGHT?" he yelled, hoping to find someone he knew, "RARITY? APPLEJACK? RAINBOW DASH?"

Looking around and seeing nopony, he tentatively called out "…Pinkie Pie?"

"Spike!" came a familiar, accented voice, sounding slightly dismayed. Spike, however, perked up at the voice of his crush.

"Rarity?" he queried back hopefully. Two ponies covered head-to-toe in pudding and resembling snowponies more than the real deal stumbled from behind the mayor's office, and Spike practically flew to them, latching onto the first pony he saw.

"RARITY! Oh, it's so good to see you all right, I was so worried- I mean, not just about you, but of all my friends, but you're one of my friends, so I was worried a lot about-" his babbling was cut short by a very dry voice.

"Ah'm not Rarity, little buddy, ah'm Applejack." Spike looked up at the pudding-encrusted earth pony and chuckled slightly.

"…I knew that."

Rarity was already trying to figure out how many baths it would take to get all the pudding out of her mane, when Pinkie Pie's voice could be heard shrieking.

The party-loving pony streaked around Twilight's Library as fast as one could through pudding, words ejecting themselves from her mouth faster than Rainbow Dash through the sky.

"Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosheveryone,there'sanewponyandwe'retotallynotreadyforapartyandohmanweneedapartybutwe'renotreadywedon'thaveenoughcakeorcupcakeorpie!" And with that, she was already out of sight, moving back to the Sugarcube Corner for some hardcore baking.

Following much more slowly was an unfamiliar pony who looked as if she would be right at home at the old Hoofstock celebration roughly thirty years before. There were so many colors on her body and mane that it made Rainbow Dash look pale and uninteresting by comparison, blended together in starbursts and whorls, swirls and loops, lines and shapes of all types. She looked tired and not very happy, but she was the only one not covered in pudding, which made her definitely stand out.

Her identity was laid to rest as she opened her mouth.

"I'm going to bed. Spike, I want you to clean the pudding out of the tree. Happy April Fools Day, everyone."

And with that, she turned and left.

--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

Celestia and Luna telekinetically tapped two glasses of wine together back in Canterlot, before gently sipping them before an open fire.

They exchanged knowing smiles, knowing deep in their hearts that Twilight would spread what had happened, and that next year, Ponyville would seek revenge.

They weren't worried, though.

No one had ever beat the allicorns in a prank war.

THE END
My entry into the Equestria Daily April Fools contest.

Not my best work, but I like it.

EDIT: Something screwy is happening with the lettering on this story, and part of it is being cut off. If I'm not the only one who has this problem, check out the second chapter of this story on FF.net: [link]

It's basically all my MLP drabbles, and this one makes up the second chapter.
© 2011 - 2024 Sithking-Zero
Comments6
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EbonMane's avatar
Very amusing. Very amusing indeed. I wonder how well Twilight and Pinkie can hold their own against the Princesses? I wouldn't count them out in a prank war.

Also, the formatting issue is because the text window autosizes to the longest word without spaces (at least, it does on my browser). I bet breaking up Pinkie's "Ohmygoshohmygosheveryone..." line into thirds with two spaces would make the formatting issue go away.